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I like making entries with lists.
1. On Saturday (6-15-08), at like 8 o'clock (at night), my father came out of nowhere (he works on weekends from the afternoon through to like 3 AM) with a BIRD. OMG BIRDS I LOVE BIRDS
NewBird is 6-8 weeks old and looks a lot like Petey would if someone dipped him in bleach. He's cute, but doesn't do much yet. I'm happy to have him, but I miss Petey so much- it feels like there's a hole in my house. But NewBird is adorable.
2. THE WATER IS STILL IN MY EARS. Also, I feel kind of like I do when I have a sinus infection; I've been going to sleep early (or earlier than usual), haven't touched my story, and feel like I have been hit by a truck. I'm barely coherent now, having been woken up because my mother was going to work. So I can't sit up and hang out with NewBird. My ears hurt and my throat hurts and mama wants me to go to the doctor, but I really don't want to go. Besides, they don't give out lollipops. I bought some stuff for water in ears yesterday but it only worked a little bit.
3. Hello Kitty recently unveiled two new characters, these little bear... mousey things that carry around giant cherries, called Cherinacherine (no, I have no idea how to pronounce that) and I'm going to have to own some of their stuff as soon as humanly possible, because I adore Hello Kitty and I have a terrible, terrible addiction to stuff that has cherries on it. You seriously do not even know how much stuff I have, it's a terrible weakness. Sanrio has wanted my money for years and I have always resisted (except that time I got a pink Hello Kitty phone for my room. It was cordless and had caller-id and EVERYTHING and was so awesome and then one day lightning hit the house and the phone died and Target didn't have any more Hello Kitty phones and I was so devastated, you don't even know) and now they have finally figured out the deadly combination that will get me to spend money. But ha ha on them- I don't have any money. But if we ever get back to the International Mall (is that its formal name?) which has a Sanrio store, I am so dead. But it'll be a happy, happy death by cuteness and cherries. (Link: http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/2008/06/cherinacherine.html)
-9:51 AM
1. On Saturday (6-15-08), at like 8 o'clock (at night), my father came out of nowhere (he works on weekends from the afternoon through to like 3 AM) with a BIRD. OMG BIRDS I LOVE BIRDS
NewBird is 6-8 weeks old and looks a lot like Petey would if someone dipped him in bleach. He's cute, but doesn't do much yet. I'm happy to have him, but I miss Petey so much- it feels like there's a hole in my house. But NewBird is adorable.
2. THE WATER IS STILL IN MY EARS. Also, I feel kind of like I do when I have a sinus infection; I've been going to sleep early (or earlier than usual), haven't touched my story, and feel like I have been hit by a truck. I'm barely coherent now, having been woken up because my mother was going to work. So I can't sit up and hang out with NewBird. My ears hurt and my throat hurts and mama wants me to go to the doctor, but I really don't want to go. Besides, they don't give out lollipops. I bought some stuff for water in ears yesterday but it only worked a little bit.
3. Hello Kitty recently unveiled two new characters, these little bear... mousey things that carry around giant cherries, called Cherinacherine (no, I have no idea how to pronounce that) and I'm going to have to own some of their stuff as soon as humanly possible, because I adore Hello Kitty and I have a terrible, terrible addiction to stuff that has cherries on it. You seriously do not even know how much stuff I have, it's a terrible weakness. Sanrio has wanted my money for years and I have always resisted (except that time I got a pink Hello Kitty phone for my room. It was cordless and had caller-id and EVERYTHING and was so awesome and then one day lightning hit the house and the phone died and Target didn't have any more Hello Kitty phones and I was so devastated, you don't even know) and now they have finally figured out the deadly combination that will get me to spend money. But ha ha on them- I don't have any money. But if we ever get back to the International Mall (is that its formal name?) which has a Sanrio store, I am so dead. But it'll be a happy, happy death by cuteness and cherries. (Link: http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/2008/06/cherinacherine.html)
-9:51 AM
Getting better
Apr. 6th, 2008 01:13 amSo it doesn't take much to make me content lately. Today I got new shampoo, new conditioner, new underwear, and new bras. I've recently gotten new toothpaste and new deodorant. I am ecstatic. I love being clean and comfortable, and apparently that's all it takes for me to be happy.
We got Petey back from the cremation place the other day. It's the world's smallest urn ever. We've actually gotten sympathy cards. As for me, I haven't cried my eyes out in two days but I still feel like I've been hit by a truck. Allergy season and a severe lack of proper sleep aren't helping. I've been organizing all of our digital pictures (I could have sworn there were more!) and cuddling the stuffed Hedwig I got for my birthday.
The breeder we got Petey from said in a few months there should be new birdies and we can have one then. I think I'll be ready by then.
I still can't listen to music though. Someday I'll be able to again.
-1:19 AM
We got Petey back from the cremation place the other day. It's the world's smallest urn ever. We've actually gotten sympathy cards. As for me, I haven't cried my eyes out in two days but I still feel like I've been hit by a truck. Allergy season and a severe lack of proper sleep aren't helping. I've been organizing all of our digital pictures (I could have sworn there were more!) and cuddling the stuffed Hedwig I got for my birthday.
The breeder we got Petey from said in a few months there should be new birdies and we can have one then. I think I'll be ready by then.
I still can't listen to music though. Someday I'll be able to again.
-1:19 AM
I just can't believe something I love so much died in my hands. I can't believe he'll never chirp again, or talk again, or kiss me when I walk in the room again. Every single thing reminds me of him. I burst into tears watching American Idol. And then Kylie Minogue was on Dancing with the Stars, and he loved Kylie. I can't believe I still have tears left. I can't read my books because they all have bite marks on them. I can't listen to music because he and I used to listen to music together. Agnes Carlsson was his favorite. She has a few appropriate songs, "Let Me Carry You" and "What Do I Do With All This Love?". I did carry him. When he got too weak to fly, and then too weak to stand up on his own, I carried him around. (His favorite Agnes song was "Love Is All Around".) It's even harder for my mother because I sleep during the day, and now there's absolutely no one for her to talk to. I feel so unbearably lonely. I don't know what to do with myself. This bird wasn't just a bird... he was a lot like a dog. He was excited when we came home, he talked to us and gave us kisses, he cuddled, he was adorable, he was loving and lovable... I just can't stand it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I miss him so much. We're having him cremated. I started collecting his feathers.
I want him back. I want the pain to go away.
-4:35 AM
I want him back. I want the pain to go away.
-4:35 AM
Bird is still twitching. May saw lower half of body off due to cramps. Have been staring at bird for three days now. Have gotten very little sleep. Being online from ten thirty at night to 7:30 in the morning makes me actually think I've run out of internet. But I can't leave the room. My bird might need me.
And now I think I'll go find that saw, because DAMN. Feels like small creatures are in my body, biting my internal organs.
-1:44 AM
And now I think I'll go find that saw, because DAMN. Feels like small creatures are in my body, biting my internal organs.
-1:44 AM
My bird is twitching. He's been twitching for the past two days, and hasn't slept. He's been to the vet, who couldn't really do anything about the twitching but did say a diet change might help. She even listened to his little heartbeat. Oh, and he's 35 grams.
I just want him to chill out and get some sleep.
And not die. I don't know what I'd do if he died. I spent all last night either trying to coax him to sleep or crying.
Also, two weeks after my last one, I seem to have gotten my period again, because the universe hates me. Dude, hate me, but don't take it out on poor little Petey. I don't know what I would do without him.
11:36 PM
I just want him to chill out and get some sleep.
And not die. I don't know what I'd do if he died. I spent all last night either trying to coax him to sleep or crying.
Also, two weeks after my last one, I seem to have gotten my period again, because the universe hates me. Dude, hate me, but don't take it out on poor little Petey. I don't know what I would do without him.
11:36 PM
I think I might be getting sick. I can't remember what sickness feels like, because I usually get sick once a year. But I've been really tired lately, my throat is killing me, my eyes are burning, and my nose almost feels sick. I dunno. I honestly cannot remember the difference between bad allergies and a cold (my last cold was years ago) or a sinus infection (my last sinus infection was last year). I went to bed several hours earlier than usual last night. My only complaint is, how can a person who rarely leaves her house get sick?? Oh well. It'll be over pretty soon, if the past is any indication.
Also, my grandma's going away for awhile tomorrow and so we're watching her bird until she gets back next week (my grandfather is not a good birdsitter) and I'm excited. I love her bird. He's 28 years old, which is like a hundred in cockatiel years. My bird seems excited too.
-11:54 PM
Also, my grandma's going away for awhile tomorrow and so we're watching her bird until she gets back next week (my grandfather is not a good birdsitter) and I'm excited. I love her bird. He's 28 years old, which is like a hundred in cockatiel years. My bird seems excited too.
-11:54 PM
Had to go to the dentist today. Had a cavity filled. My cheek is numb and I'm hungry, but they said not to eat until the numbness goes away. I also have to pee but I can't untie the knot I made in my belt, because I'm just that awesome.
The numbess is actually starting to wear off on the tooth itself, which hurts like a serious bitch. But my cheek is still numb. Wtf folks.
Yesterday I had my hair trimmed. I was right: after the trim, my hair officially became the most gorgeous hair in the universe. Even my hairlady was amazed at the shine. Today the hygienist commented that it was long and asked if I'd been growing it out a long time, and I suppose growing it out since the age of 11 counts as a long time. Then she said the dentist might cut it because he had his scissors out before and tried to cut hers but he said mine was safe because it's not in my eyes. I have a weird dental... place, guys. They also told me that my teeth were really sensitive (because I told them I thought I had more cavities) and there isn't anything I can do, since the stuff doesn't work. Again: I'm just that awesome.
Now I'm listening to 90s pop and trying not to eat my parakeet, who is starting to look like a chicken wing. And I don't even like chicken wings. Dinner better be soon or I don't know what I'm going to do :(
-4:57 PM
Edit, 5:08 PM: The tooth that hurts like a bitch isn't the one with the cavity (what the hell), and I just owned the hell out of the knot in my belt. Whoo!
The numbess is actually starting to wear off on the tooth itself, which hurts like a serious bitch. But my cheek is still numb. Wtf folks.
Yesterday I had my hair trimmed. I was right: after the trim, my hair officially became the most gorgeous hair in the universe. Even my hairlady was amazed at the shine. Today the hygienist commented that it was long and asked if I'd been growing it out a long time, and I suppose growing it out since the age of 11 counts as a long time. Then she said the dentist might cut it because he had his scissors out before and tried to cut hers but he said mine was safe because it's not in my eyes. I have a weird dental... place, guys. They also told me that my teeth were really sensitive (because I told them I thought I had more cavities) and there isn't anything I can do, since the stuff doesn't work. Again: I'm just that awesome.
Now I'm listening to 90s pop and trying not to eat my parakeet, who is starting to look like a chicken wing. And I don't even like chicken wings. Dinner better be soon or I don't know what I'm going to do :(
-4:57 PM
Edit, 5:08 PM: The tooth that hurts like a bitch isn't the one with the cavity (what the hell), and I just owned the hell out of the knot in my belt. Whoo!
So I'm sitting here with digital cable tuned to the Radio Disney channel. And I came here to tell you that this is not because I like listening to songs from crappy Disney movies and ubercheesy outdated pop songs, but because my mother likes to leave the television on sleep for my bird. You know, like how people leave the radio on for dogs. (Oh my God, not Ashley Tisdale. Noooooooo!) Usually she leaves it on Nickelodeon (<3), but I noticed that my bird seems to like it best when they sing. And we all know that children's television + singing usually equals some really bad television. So I decided to see whether he likes listening to a music channel, and so far he is not enjoying the Cheetah Girls or this Ashley Tisdale song very much.
So I just thought I'd tell you that no, I'm not listening to this for myself.
Oh, and for those of you wondering what I'm even doing awake at this hour, I'm gonna tell you a secret: No, I don't really get that much sleep. Or that much sun. That's probably why I have a kind of vampire thing going on.
Oh, and I'm also waiting for my father to come home because we're supposed to be getting digital phone something or other today, and I'd rather not be home alone when strange people show up. But I'm probably going to go take a nap now and leave my bird listening to Everlife. ...or this horrible Ashley Simpson song. No, I love my bird too much for that. I'd much rather hear Blue's Clues, thanks. At least that show is mildly interesting. ...I need sleep.
-10:18 AM
So I just thought I'd tell you that no, I'm not listening to this for myself.
Oh, and for those of you wondering what I'm even doing awake at this hour, I'm gonna tell you a secret: No, I don't really get that much sleep. Or that much sun. That's probably why I have a kind of vampire thing going on.
Oh, and I'm also waiting for my father to come home because we're supposed to be getting digital phone something or other today, and I'd rather not be home alone when strange people show up. But I'm probably going to go take a nap now and leave my bird listening to Everlife. ...or this horrible Ashley Simpson song. No, I love my bird too much for that. I'd much rather hear Blue's Clues, thanks. At least that show is mildly interesting. ...I need sleep.
-10:18 AM
Explanation
Oct. 1st, 2006 03:18 amSo at around 2 o'clock this morning, I found out what that bad feeling from the other day was.
My cockatiel died. I often described him as an angry bird who didn't want to be bothered, which was true. For some reason, despite his nasty attitude, I loved him. He's been my pet since I was seven, and I never imagined life without him... even though he never did much of anything besides stare out the window. He's outlived every previous pet I've ever had besides my current parakeet, Petey. Petey was very, very, VERY fond of him for reasons unknown (when Petey was little we let them meet and Caesar, the cockatiel, bit him right away) and as you might have imagined, Petey's upset, too. He doesn't quite understand, but I took him out of his cage to say goodbye and he kept looking at him the way I've never seen him look at anything before, so I guess he knows. Still, tomorrow he's going to wake up to an empty cage beside him, and I'm kind of dreading that. When my mother (or me, if I'm being nice to my mother) wakes up the birds, she takes off their covers, opens Petey's cage (Petey's extraordinarily tame, so he stays out of his cage when he's not sleeping) and puts out a little bowl of water on top of Caesar's cage. Petey runs up to Caesar's cage and looks at him awhile, then goes and eats some seeds (we also keep seeds on top of his cage, along with toys and lettuce and things) and then eventually he gets bored and goes back to his own cage to take a nap (birds have a tendency to nap when bored. :D)
Tomorrow there won't be any Caesar for poor little Petey to feed or look at or whatever they did together.
Having a bird die is not quite like other pet deaths. With fish, people tend to flush them. With dogs and cats, and I'm assuming other large mammals, they usually get sick or injured and the vet takes care of them. With birds (and my hamster) it's a bit different. We usually have little to no warning, and then end up scrambling around the next morning looking for a box to bury him (or her) in. So we buried Caesar already... I had to lay him down in the hole. I said goodbye, and tomorrow I think I'll bring a flower out, for all the animals we've buried back there, including all the fish in tissues. It makes me happy to know that Caesar is with my other pets: Stinky the hamster, innumerable fish (including Felix and Oscar, Frogetta the tiny frog, a tiny catfish, etc.), and Popsie (my lone female bird, a parakeet), Fred (a bird my parents had in New York, left with my uncle, and then got back when my uncle drove down to let him retire in Florida, a type of parakeet that resembles a small parrot and eats large foods with his foot and was very friendly, he used to play with my hair) and a canary we had for several years that never got a name for some odd reason, and stopped singing one day for no reason.
The strange thing was, my mother told me that for the past few days she'd been having a weird feeling like something bad was going to happen.... just like me, except neither of us had told the other. I told her about mine after she told me about hers and then we cried a little, a strange thing for my mother to do. And then my father came home from work (everyone in my family is an insomniac... does that surprise you?) and buried him.
There's nothing else to say, I guess. Caesar was, as I told Bianca, one badass mofo of a bird. He didn't take any nonsense from any bitches. I often called my birds my brothers, and although it doesn't feel like I lost a brother... it does feel like I've lost a little part of myself, because he was there for so much of my life.
Rest in peace, my little angry friend. I know what it's like to hate the world, we had a lot in common. I'll miss your little orange cheeked face, your spiked up feather "hair" and your chirps.
Goodbye, Caesar.
<3
My cockatiel died. I often described him as an angry bird who didn't want to be bothered, which was true. For some reason, despite his nasty attitude, I loved him. He's been my pet since I was seven, and I never imagined life without him... even though he never did much of anything besides stare out the window. He's outlived every previous pet I've ever had besides my current parakeet, Petey. Petey was very, very, VERY fond of him for reasons unknown (when Petey was little we let them meet and Caesar, the cockatiel, bit him right away) and as you might have imagined, Petey's upset, too. He doesn't quite understand, but I took him out of his cage to say goodbye and he kept looking at him the way I've never seen him look at anything before, so I guess he knows. Still, tomorrow he's going to wake up to an empty cage beside him, and I'm kind of dreading that. When my mother (or me, if I'm being nice to my mother) wakes up the birds, she takes off their covers, opens Petey's cage (Petey's extraordinarily tame, so he stays out of his cage when he's not sleeping) and puts out a little bowl of water on top of Caesar's cage. Petey runs up to Caesar's cage and looks at him awhile, then goes and eats some seeds (we also keep seeds on top of his cage, along with toys and lettuce and things) and then eventually he gets bored and goes back to his own cage to take a nap (birds have a tendency to nap when bored. :D)
Tomorrow there won't be any Caesar for poor little Petey to feed or look at or whatever they did together.
Having a bird die is not quite like other pet deaths. With fish, people tend to flush them. With dogs and cats, and I'm assuming other large mammals, they usually get sick or injured and the vet takes care of them. With birds (and my hamster) it's a bit different. We usually have little to no warning, and then end up scrambling around the next morning looking for a box to bury him (or her) in. So we buried Caesar already... I had to lay him down in the hole. I said goodbye, and tomorrow I think I'll bring a flower out, for all the animals we've buried back there, including all the fish in tissues. It makes me happy to know that Caesar is with my other pets: Stinky the hamster, innumerable fish (including Felix and Oscar, Frogetta the tiny frog, a tiny catfish, etc.), and Popsie (my lone female bird, a parakeet), Fred (a bird my parents had in New York, left with my uncle, and then got back when my uncle drove down to let him retire in Florida, a type of parakeet that resembles a small parrot and eats large foods with his foot and was very friendly, he used to play with my hair) and a canary we had for several years that never got a name for some odd reason, and stopped singing one day for no reason.
The strange thing was, my mother told me that for the past few days she'd been having a weird feeling like something bad was going to happen.... just like me, except neither of us had told the other. I told her about mine after she told me about hers and then we cried a little, a strange thing for my mother to do. And then my father came home from work (everyone in my family is an insomniac... does that surprise you?) and buried him.
There's nothing else to say, I guess. Caesar was, as I told Bianca, one badass mofo of a bird. He didn't take any nonsense from any bitches. I often called my birds my brothers, and although it doesn't feel like I lost a brother... it does feel like I've lost a little part of myself, because he was there for so much of my life.
Rest in peace, my little angry friend. I know what it's like to hate the world, we had a lot in common. I'll miss your little orange cheeked face, your spiked up feather "hair" and your chirps.
Goodbye, Caesar.
<3
