It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

so I wanted to write a big entry about how PEOPLE GIVE ME STUFF

AND I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE

ESPECIALLY KYLEE SHOUTOUT TO MY HOMEGIRL SHE IS MY FAVORITEST

but it just seems so materialistic but

you all know that if you buy me shit

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

especially if it is the greatest most thoughtful things because that gives me the gift of knowing you pay attention to me

and that is really the best gift of all. except for the Hello Kitty makeup. I didn't cry right away but I definitely did later on in the evening. I just thought about it and then sat there and cried for a little bit.

I also bought myself a Target exclusive Christmas mini Lalaloopsy named Holly Sleighbells, and then in Walmart I found SPECTRA. Guys. Spectra is a Monster High doll who is SO RARE. She tends to be scalped at unfair, unreasonably high prices, and is often impossible to find in stores without calling the store first and stalking them when they get their shipments in BUT SHE WAS THERE and now I own her. With my own money, even! I already made her a little friendship bracelet like the other 4. I also made a bracelet for the mini Lalaloopsy which, I will be honest, was not easy.

Then Molly's sending me dolls and Em is sending me Sims and guys. guys

I can't handle you all. Cannot. I LOVE THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T GIVE ME STUFF TOO DON'T WORRY I LOVE YOU ALSO. VERY MUCH.

this has been a post.

-11:54 PM

So let's talk about dreams I've had lately. I know, I know, other people's dreams aren't interesting. Which is why I'm cutting out all but the most interesting parts.

-Before I woke up today I had a dream I was in some sort of school, like a high school for adults, and had decided to join the baseball team (not softball). Some dude was hitting on me and I was like, k sure have my number you're cool. Then he left and Charlie Sheen showed up and draped himself over me and was like I WANT YOUR NUMBER TOO and I was like DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP OH MY GOD GO AWAY. like... Charlie Sheen wtf you doing in my dreams, dude. gtfo.

-Last week I dreamed Cheryl Cole was kind of hitting on me, but another girl was telling me "Don't get your hopes up, she just likes to flirt, she never follows through." And I was like o ok den, we'll just be flirty friends. Pointless dream is pointless.

-I also dreamed I was in high school with Adam and I was a like, student council member? Like the school's president? And The vice principal (one of my actual VPs from when I was in actual high school) found some stuff and was like "I need you to find out who this belongs to" and I was like "oh, it's Adam's" and then he was avoiding me because I knew about his secret ex-boyfriend and he was afraid I'd judge him and I was like omg you idiot. And then when I found him he decided he wanted to be my boyfriend and I was like, o ok den. And then we had the blandest kiss ever.

I suspect the Charlie Sheen baseball dream came from the fact that before going to sleep I stayed up late writing a Longbert AU in which both of them are baseball players and it's a tiny bit angsty and I can't post it until I finish the other Longbert but I can't wait because it's like my favorite thing I ever wrote, I can't even. Where Charlie Sheen comes in I have no idea.

THE END.

WHERE DID MY LIVEJOURNAL INBOX GO klasjdklsaj


-ivybSTOPCHANGINGTHINGSflower @ 1:19 PM

I need a slushie.


Also, glasses are broken. Need new frames (most likely). Going to Wal*Mart today to see what they can do; if they don't have THESE frames, I'll probably die, because I'm so picky. Can you blame me? These things are pasted to my face, like, 19 of the 24 hours in a day. They HAVE to not be ugly.

Of course, they'll have to take them away from me, which means I'll either be wearing my very old old glasses that are bent and silver and not pretty sleek black, but they're wire frames like these and have the half-frame thing going on around the lens so the only adjustment will be my blindness. It's either that or be blind as a bat for a week or more, depending. Wal*Mart actually has great eye care, believe it or not. The doctor I saw last time was a total sweetheart and super professional, and the other people (what do you call them? technicians?) are always super helpful when I break or bend or whatever them, and it's almost always no charge to have them adjusted, except when you need new nosepads, those are $2.01. Why the penny tho?

Sooooo I'll be blind for awhile. It's not like I have many places to go, anyway.


Maybe I'll get a slushie for my troubles. (They're currently held together with tape. TAPE. because BOTH arms are broken ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I DESERVE A SLUSHIE FOR MY SHAME.)

-ivybslushflower (ivybglassflower?) @ 10:49 AM

So... I told her not to go out today. Remember that: I looked out the window, contemplated the dark skies, my sore throat, and the fact that I was still tired, and said I didn't want to go out. And then I told her I didn't think she should either. And I said it more than once, which I never do; I never tell my mother not to go out, period, and today I said it at least three times. I don't know why I felt so strongly that my mother should stay home, except that every so often I do get those "feelings" that something bad will happen and it always does. (Examples: had one before my cockatiel died. Had one before my great-aunt's car died on the way home. Had one the night before my uncle fell into a diabetic coma while driving and was killed by a semi.) This time it didn't feel like anything much, unlike the horrible sinking in my chest I usually get. I just... looked out the window, and it hit me that today was not a good day to be leaving the house. Except...

She did. And now our car is horribly smushed on the passenger's side and the front tire is gone and my beautiful car may never come back. Of course, our family is weird and so there's another car almost exactly like it sitting in the garage right now because my parents have the same car and also my father has a Cadillac for no reason at all so we don't need a rental.

My mother herself is... well, I want to say "fine" but I think we'll have to see tomorrow; the hospital said it always feels much worse the next day. As far as injuries, the doctor says whiplash but she says she feels nothing and saw nothing on the X-ray and there's something about a neck injury but she says she only feels it in her chest where she hit the steering wheel. Nothing's broken, torn, bleeding, or really bruised. So she's home and feels alright.

She says when the car stopped moving it stopped just next to a pole. She says she was hit so hard it just wouldn't stop. You never like to get a phone call from your shaky-voiced mother saying she was in an accident and your father is there and the car is being towed away and then OKAY I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE

WAIT WHAT, I HAVE QUESTIONS

and then your shaky-voiced grandmother who never shows emotions besides annoyance and anger calls and she's not nearly as shaky-voiced but she's scared, she's scared for her daughter and her husband left the house without telling her anything and she didn't know where I was and what's going on.

And then she made chocolate chip cookies, which I don't know that my grandmother has ever made before in all of her born days.

The inside of the car is fine, she says, but I do wonder if I had been in the car what would have happened to me; there's no steering wheel on my side, so how far would I have gone, wearing a seatbelt as I always do? Would I have hit the dashboard and made the airbag come out?

If I was in the car, would I have seen the crazy woman coming before my mother did? Would I have convinced her to take a different way home, because she often thinks out loud to me about which way she'll go?

Before she had the accident she asked me what was on my shopping list and I said Earl Grey Tea and ramen noodles (Oriental flavor). This was at about 2:30. She called again at 3 with the shaky voice (and immediately I felt guilty for being upset about being woken up again.)

When she finally, finally, finally came home at 7, looking a little glassy-eyed from Vicodin (she says she won't take anymore because she hates it, but I have a feeling she'll reluctantly take some more tomorrow, if she gets that prescription filled) she came home with... English Breakfast tea. I don't know why, but that feels like the cherry on top of the whole thing. The car may be dead (she said it made a horrible noise when she tried to turn it on) and she'll probably be in pain and then THE TEA IS WRONG.

I latched onto that (but didn't complain to her because, come on) because that's what you do when things go wrong: you find the tiniest thing and say "WELL, OF COURSE THAT HAD TO HAPPEN." Like losing your purse that just so happens to have your great-grandmother's earrings in it, or getting sick and throwing up on your expensive shoes; it's not the worst thing that happened, but it's the thing that makes the most sense, and is the easiest to get upset about because the rest of you is thinking "wait, what? what do I do now? what's going on?" It's the most everyday mistake, more everyday than a car accident, so that's what I've been thinking about, because it's just easier than OH GOD I COULD HAVE LOST MY MOTHER or OH GOD MY MOTHER COULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL WITH SEVERE INJURIES RIGHT NOW. Nope, the wrong tea.

I'll take the wrong tea if it means I get to keep my mother. I can live without tea. If you said "you can keep your mama, but you'll never have tea again" I'd take my mother. I'd take my mother in exchange for everyone in the world's tea, because that is my MOTHER and I love her and cannot live without her. Cannot. Ever.

I drank some and it tastes pretty good. It'll probably always be car-crash tea to me now though.

She did find a pair of sneakers she likes which is big, big news because my mother's feet are so picky it's nearly impossible to find shoes for her. So the day isn't a complete loss. Oh, and Adam Lambert at the AMAs, how awesome was that? My mother was underwhelmed, but she's underwhelmed about almost everything ever (she's a lot less shaken up than I would be, although she's definitely more shaken than usual) but dude's face in his crotch and grabbing vaginas and making out with the male keyboardist. There's no point to that sentence besides HOSHIT ADAM.

I missed Kris's presenting because we were next door gathering sweaters for the homeless and then had to find the tripped circuit breaker but the thingie wouldn't open. Today was really weird, you guys.

Oh and an unreleased acoustic version of one of my favorite Kylie songs EVER, Paper Dolls, leaked. It's not very different though.
-3:36 AM

So let's talk about the names they give makeup. Personally, I usually love them. They're so pretty. I'm kind of disappointed when cosmetics don't have pretty names. It doesn't affect whether or not I buy them, but it's always fun.

Sometimes the name is stupid, though. Like one time I came across an Urban Decay eyeshadow called "mildew" which... actually really looks like mildew. They couldn't have chosen a slightly better name? Like fresh cut grass, or a title-y one like "Always Grows on the North Side" or something. According to Sephora, http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P166063&categoryId=B70 it's one of their best-selling shades. Even though it's fug and I can't imagine any skintone it looks good on.

Last week my boyfriend and I came across a name I felt was worse. (I'll have to ask him what he thinks of mildew.)

See, it was like 4 AM in Wal*Mart (GOD I KNOW, DON'T EVEN, JUST SHUT UP, THERE WAS A GOOD REASON) and he was sleepy (justified) and I was looking at the Halloween nailpolishes, and I found a white one called "Oh Baby!" which is dumb, and a red one called "Hot Tamale" which is pretty normal, and a black one called "Kiss Me Here" which makes no damn sense at all, but sort of makes sense for a cosmetic product, I guess. And I picked up a purple one, which is very, very pretty, it's reddish purple sometimes but then sometimes totally like, navy blue purple. And awesome. So I flipped it over to look at the name.

"No Means No"

...the hell? Is this Lifetime? I told Boyfriend, who said "Are you serious?" and then "Please tell me your phone has a camera!" (It doesn't. It makes phonecalls. And that's pretty much it. Not that I care.)

I was dumbstruck. I cannot imagine who came up with this name, who signed off on it, who thought it was at all an attractive name for any kind of makeup or really anything. I mean, what about that says "purple" to you? Jesus. He and I were trying to figure it out and he eventually came over to see for himself and lamented that no one would believe us, or something. Then I realized, duhhhhh, it's for sale, morons. And only 2 bucks and really gorgeous. So I bought it. (Well, made him buy it. And a pretty pastel green BonBons itty bitty nailpolish. I'm currently wearing both, on alternating fingers. Because you care, right?)

Am I crazy? Am I the only one who thinks this is as weird a name as it is? I mean, if all the other colors had, like, Lifetime names it would make sense. It would be a weird gimmick, but okay. Not that I don't vehemently believe that no always means no, always at all times, always. But it's still really freaking weird.

Today I bought another purpleish nailpolish by the same company. It's called "Rio". Which doesn't really fit, but isn't as weird as "No Means No".

Which is less gross than Mildew.

P.S.: http://www.baricosmetics.com/product.aspx?id=552
(Gotta love "Nasty Girl" and "Excuse Me" and "Striptease") (Also, it looks absolutely nothing like that picture, at all. Like, seriously. WTF is with this company.) (Also-also, I'm currently obsessed with nailpolish. I keep buying BonBons. I'm insane.)

-8:32 PM

(Okay, watch like a hundred people commenting all THAT IS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE NAME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.)

HOW CAN YOU TRADE KAZMIR

I KNOW I MADE FUN OF HIM A HELL OF A LOT BUT DAMMIT HE WAS MINE AND I LOVED HIM

WITH HIS BABY FACE AND HE GREW THESE WIMPY LITTLE BEARDS TO LOOK LIKE OLD AND SHIT I GUESS BUT WE ALL KNEW HE HAD A BABY FACE

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I HATE TRADING :( WHY CAN'T PLAYERS JUST STAY FOREVER :(

I didn't realize I'd care this much :(

I MISS YOU ALREADY SPECIAL K :(

-2:26 AM

RAYS
WHY ARE YOU PLAYING SO WELL TONIGHT
WHY DID YOU SUCK SO MUCH YESTERDAY AND TODAY YOU ARE AMAZING BECAUSE I'M NOT THERE
WHY WHY WHY

Yours, Ivy B. Greenflower

-9:52 PM