It Seems Like Years Since It's Been Clear

I promised Ms. B I'd direct her to Twilight resources so she wouldn't have to go looking for it and get scarred.

Cleolinda has been the best ever when it comes to avoiding this crap like the plague and yet still being informed:
http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/Twilight - Cleo Explains It All

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/602881.html - Why the series is popular, what's massively wrong with it, and summary of first book. This is when I started getting rabid, but then, "rabid" is often my default reaction, so I decided to hold out judgment just a liiiiiiiitle longer...

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/603861.html - The second book recap and discussion. THESE BOOKS SUCK SO MUCH.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/605018.html - Third book. Series still fails on epic levels.

http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html - Part one of Cleo's epic, LENGTHY, hilarious commentary on the last book.
http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630293.html - Part two
http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630806.html - Part Three
Those last three links contain the funniest stuff I have ever read in all of my 20 years. I'm not exaggerating. Also, those links contain proof I didn't make up or even embellish the vampire death baby or the sparkling vampire skin or any of the other horrendous stuff I told you about. THEY REALLY ARE THAT BAD AND THEY SUCK AND IF GIRLS REALLY WANT TO BE LIKE THIS THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP RIGHT NOW AND GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN BAREFOOT.

If you need non-Cleo proof that they suck, check out Fandom Wank's archive of Twilight crap: http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/tag/fandom:+twilight

Also, ONTD has two spinoff communities, ontd_twilight and ontd_twatlight, the first being for people who like the books (or like them because they're bad), the second being more for people who vehemently hate them and post a lot of image macros. Like 4chan but for Twilight crap. Twatlight (hee!) has also met Robert Pattinson and gave him a shirt from the community, and told him to google it.

Now you see why they make me froth at the mouth like some sort of rabid thing. If you only have time to click on one link, the first or second in this entry are your best choices. (Second link does a good job explaining how horrible they are from a more feminist viewpoint.)

-1:58 AM

P.S. I STILL DON'T GET WHY THE VAMPIRES SPARKLE AND WHY THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY AND NOT REALLY, REALLY GAY AND ALSO WEIRD. Like, how would you even think of that? I get having vampires that don't die in the sun, or subverting the whole cliche and making them like, get stronger in the sun. But these vampires only get hotter, and by hotter I mean they sparkle. I tried to imagine my boyfriend covered in body glitter to see if that made him hotter, but I just laughed and laughed and laughed and laaaaaaaaughed.